Why is self-esteem so important? Because if you think poorly of yourself, you will tend to act poorly. Low self-esteem is like a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you believe that you are not capable or worthy, you are likely to confirm this belief. Contrarily, someone who feels good about themselves is more likely to make a difference in someone else's lives.
Where does a bad self-image come from? Not surprisingly, it is a widely held idea that a bad self-image stems from unmet needs as a child. Someone who did not receive enough love as a child is apt to be depressed, overly fearful, etc., and spend their whole lives trying to avoid being hurt again.
How should we feel about ourselves? We should have a healthy self-image that reflects our dependence on God while relying on each others' mutual strength.
The scriptures do more than emphasize that it is important to love ourselves. They also claim that our well-being and happiness are tied to our need to feel guility or negatively about bad behavior. We will be happy only when we learn to see the importance of loving, hating, and dying to ourselves.
Loving Ourselves We cannot claim not to love ourselves and at the same time be dissatisfied with our appearance or our inability to meet our expectations as well as the expectations of others. For example, if we didn't love ourselves, we wouldn't care what we looked like.
Hating Ourselves God does not want us to look at ourselves with contempt (as in, I am not pretty enough, etc.); He wants us to despise our self- centeredness. We don't have a reason to feel good about ourselves if we are living our life dependent on ourselves alone, without God.
Dying to Ourselves For us to be happy, we need to rely exclusively on God – we are designed to feel empty if we don't. He should be our only source for strength.
“Just as a seed must die to produce a plant, so we need to bury our confidence in all other hopes before we can discover the ultimate blessedness of finding our life and dignity and self-acceptance through a complete reliance on God.”
By What Values Do We See Ourselves? God does not want us to measure ourselves by values such as beauty, intelligence, or by how much money we have. If we value ourselves on these types of things, we are in trouble. He wants us to value ourselves based on our inner strength in adversity and our reliance on Him.
Are We Inherently Good or Bad? We are shaped from the “polar opposites of spiritual dignity and moral depravity.” We are born “broken” and spiritually defective, and if we continue on this path we are apt to live our lives in selfish pursuit of our own happiness at the expense of others. On the other hand, we are also born with a certain degree of spiritual dignity – meaning, we are created in the likeness of God. If we work to cultivate this spiritual dignity – rather than being wrapped up in stubborn self-reliance - we can increase our self-worth. When we trust God and rely on him, we are given a new life and a new sense of purpose that resides outside the scope of our limited circumstances. We can achieve anything that God wants us to achieve. God's will is the limit. “All things work together for good for those who love God.”
Where Can You Begin? We can take our defects of character and use them to develop our reliance on God. To turn to Him for strength to persevere through life's challenges. God alone can provide us with personal power and our purpose in life.
Reference: RBC Ministries pamphlet “Self-Esteem: What Does the Bible Say?” (2001)