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Blog, October 26, 2008 - December 31, 2008
December 31, 2008
Happy New Year's Eve! We have big plans tonight, meaning we
hope to be awake to watch the ball drop! We prefer to stay home
and chill on "amateur night." I've had plenty of wild New Year's
Eves - enough to last a lifetime. I'd prefer to be at home, safe and
warm. Last year I got a little choked up watching Dick Clark
because of seeing the effects of his stroke - it made me think of my
Dad. Little did I know it would be the last New Year's Eve that my
Dad would be alive...
We had his ceremony at Arlington on Monday. It was a very moving
and honorable service. Since he was cremated, he has a niche
which will be engraved on the outside, indicating he was in the Air
Force. Since his niche is located on the upper level, I got to be the
one to place his ashes in the niche. [My Mom would have broken
her neck.] I was very happy that I was able to do that. I had a
crying jag when we got home from dinner. It felt good to get it all
out. I am happy that he is no longer suffering, but I mourn the man
I felt I never got the chance to know.
My Aunt Rose came down from Massachusetts to attend the
ceremony. She is 85 years old but has the energy of a 25 year old.
She imparted some wisdom on me: to live my life and don't let the
depression own me. She put it in a much more eloquent and wise
way but her message got through. While the fact remains that I am
struggling right now, I need to push as hard as I can against the
forces that try to keep me down.
I lost my job at the restaurant. While the owner does care about
me and like me as a person, I just wasn't cutting it as far as the
amount of time I was able to work or the energy I was able to put
into the job. Well, it just proves that I need my Social Security. The
decision should be coming any day on my appeal. I hope it comes
through. I am not sure how we are going to pull through if it
doesn't.
At the eve of the new year, I am deciding to be hopeful. Things
have to get better. There has got to be the right medication out
there for me. I want off this roller coaster. I am sick and tired of
these cycles. I just want to start out on a level playing field. I don't
need to feel good as much as I don't want to feel bad. It makes me
angry because it is all chemical. I have no reason to be down. I
have a good life.
I guess that's enough of my soul searching for now. Happy New
Year to you and yours.
celeste
__________________________________________________
December 17, 2008
Happy Birthday, Mom! I dedicate my latest painting to you:
We Can Stop the Madness
18 x 36
I have been having a wicked battle with insomnia for the past well,
years, but lately for the past couple of weeks. Waking up too early,
waking up in the middle of the night. I have run out of Vampires to
attack on Facebook! Pitiful. Too tired to do anything but 'net. It's
frustrating. Thank God I see the doctor tomorrow. I take enough
sleep meds. to kill a horse, but apparently not enough. Or I have
developed a tolerance to them. Whatever the reason, it makes me
feel different than the rest of the world, and I don't need more
reasons to feel that way! :)
O.k. Enough whining. There are people with much worse things to
deal with than insomnia. Great song by Faithless, by the way, if you
haven't heard of them. They're my favorite band.
Did you send out Christmas cards? We did. It wasn't as bad as hot
pokers in the eyes, as I expected. My handwriting is abysmal, so
hopefully they will all make it to their destinations.
We are heading to VA for Christmas to visit with my family and
attend my Dad's interment at Arlington Cemetery. Not exactly
something to look forward to, but in a way I am. I didn't get to say
goodbye, so this is my opportunity to do so. And what an honor for
him.
I told Jonas that I set up my art space and he sent a cool message
back:
"Ok, Nice space.
Now you go to work. Pour your heart out.
Remember it's not the results but the purity of the process that
counts.
Let that fearless energy come out.
Every painting is a self portrait: your intention, how you go about it,
is there judgment. are you willing to make a fool of yourself, are you
a perfectionist, are you afraid of negative response. who are you
trying to please, is there a deep meaning behind it all. The answers
define who you are and the painting reflect you from inside out and
outside in.
Enjoy the process
Love
Jonas"
Very true. I need to focus on the process. I am going to continue to
make paintings I like as well as ones that I don't, but that's not the
reason I paint and I need to remember that. I seem to do best
when I stick to no more than 4 colors. Otherwise, I tend to get
mud. I have a lot to learn.
Well, enough for now. I hope YOU are getting some good sleep.
Peace,
celeste
__________________________________________________
December 14, 2008
So, I am back in the saddle again. I painted my first painting in
months - and the first at the new house - yesterday. I am
dedicating it to my Dad:
I swear I felt his presence with me as a painted. I used the new
paints I got from Jonas - WOW, what a difference. They are the
perfect balance between the fast-drying acrylics I was using and
oils. You can play with the paints for a while, but you know that by
the next day that the painting will be dry.
I listened to the Dido album and was frankly disappointed. After
turning out No Angel and Life for Rent, I had pretty high
expectations. I'd give it a C+.
We are going to see Four Christmases today. Should be fun,
mindless holiday entertainment.
Peace,
celeste
__________________________________________________
December 13, 2008
Well, since I was up at 3:00 a.m. this morning, I had no excuse but
to get moving on my studio. It took about 2 & 1/2 hours, but it is
now finally set up.
Not bad considering it's just a half-garage. The left is all storage
shelves, and I managed to fill them all. The latest painting I did is
hanging up. I think I did it two months ago. It's called Sweet
Indulgence:
I am getting ready to go out and try to get something going again.
It's hard to get back in the groove. But there I go already
expecting to have a hard time. Back up. I am going to put on Dido's
new album, which I didn't know existed until today when I was
returning an old item at Best Buy (I have to steer clear of Best Buy
for now - $$). So, I can't wait to hear it as well as Pink's new
album. I also need to do something with this weird energy I am
getting from one of the new meds. It's uncomfortable. I just hope
I can adjust to it. It should help with the depression.
We still have unpacking to do, but we have our "infrastructure" set
up so it's doable for now. We will unpack this week at a relaxed
pace. That's what we call "mellow procrastination", my friends.
Hope you are having a great weekend,
celeste
__________________________________________________
December 11, 2008
Well, Bama lost to Florida but will be playing Utah in the Sugar Bowl.
I hope Oklahoma annihilates Florida in their game. Stupid Florida!
My new meds. are helping a lot. Thank God. And I went to part-
time at work so that is helping immensely. I am just not the person
I used to be, and it's a small office and I feel claustrophobic in there
so staying put for 8 hours was slowly driving me mad. Working 4
hours is great. I am more productive and don't feel the day drags
on. I have a wonderful God.
I should be able to set up the studio today after work. I can't wait.
My dear friend Whipple sent me a Michael's gift card so I have some
new brushes to try out.
I, like many others, am addicted to Facebook. How many freakin'
hugs and good karma can a person send out? The answer: an
indefinite amount. :) If you aren't on, you should join. It's a great
way to see what your friends are up to without having to actually be
in contact. That sounds bad, but you know what I mean.
We still have some unpacking to do, but have made decent
progress. I have set up our Christmas tree, hung some paintings,
and got all of my Day of the Dead collection up. I am fortunate to
have a g/f who doesn't think it's weird, because she knows what
it's all about. So, my marvelous collection is on prominent display.
I am grateful to report that several donations have been made to
the Warrenton library in my Dad's honor. I am sure he is pleased.
My Mom is happy about it, and is sending personal thank you notes.
Happy Thursday!
celeste
__________________________________________________
December 6, 2008
Well, got my new meds. finally. I am hopeful that they will help me
and am glad to get off one of the meds. I was taking due to the side
effects. Unfortunately, one of the meds. is giving me some nausea,
so I had to leave work a little early yesterday. I crashed and felt
better, so I went to Jonas' Asheville Area Arts Council gallery
opening where he was honored with being named Artist of the
Year.
I just adore him. He threatened (jokingly) to take the paints back
that he gave me if I didn't start painting. So, this weekend D and I
are going to get unpacked and get the studio partially ready. We
are going to have a friend put up some shelves in the garage since
we have so much less storage space. I want this studio to be neat
and organized, unlike our last one.
Bama plays Florida today at 4:00 EST. It will be a good game. ROLL
TIDE!
Have a great Saturday and weekend,
celeste
__________________________________________________
December 2, 2008
Well, we survived the move. Barely. I had a tough time with it. I
was totally stressed out. Moving blows. Add to that the fact that
we moved to a much smaller house, I had a lot to get rid of. There's
still some stuff left at the old house, and my landlord had to help out
with the cleaning so he could show the house and it not be a mess.
We had to go out of town for Thanksgiving and I have to work so
the timing was off. We'll get it all worked out, it will just take some
creativity. We just have to remember to take one room at a time,
and not get overwhelmed by the big picture. We need to get some
shelves put up in the garage because we have 1/2 the storage
space. I can't wait to get the house set up and then my studio. It's
been months since I painted. That's a big void for me.
Thanksgiving was really nice. We went to Myrtle Beach to visit D's
Mom and Dad. It was very relaxing and nice to get away from all
the packed boxes everywhere. I was in a funk part of the time, so
that sucked. Time to adjust the meds. AGAIN. Call me a guinea pig.
One day they will get the right combination. Of course, I was very
excited that Alabama's football team retained their perfect season
and beat the crap out of their arch-rival, Auburn! Next week's
game against Florida will be a tough one, but for now I will revel in
their #1 ranking!
My beloved Jonas Gerard has been selected as Artist of the Year by
the Asheville Area Arts Council. There is a reception Friday night
that I plan to attend to show my support. I am very excited for him.
Have a great Tuesday.
Peace,
celeste
__________________________________________________
November 20, 2008
I woke up to the most marvelous email in my in box. It was from
Jonas. I had sent him a thank you card (I am one of those geeks
with card-making software - I rarely buy a card) with an image of
one of my paintings on it:
[It's called Falling Backwards and is one of my favorites.] He wrote
to me:
"Dear Celeste,
Got your sweet card.
It's a pleasure to be of service.
The image on the card is the first time I have seen your painting and
when I opened the envelope my first reaction was WOW.
I want to see more.
Don't delay.
Paint, paint and then……. paint some more
Jonas"
To say I am thrilled is an understatement. What a wonderful way to
start the day!
I am not going to do any packing this morning, even though I am up
early. I have to package up a bike to ship (viva la Ebay). I got a
bike box, but I am going to have to disassemble some of it and I just
hope I have the right tools.
Work has gotten busy, which is good, because it makes the day go
by faster. The problem is that when I come home, I literally get in
bed. I am not worth a damn after 5:00, and I hate that, because I
could have been doing some packing in the evenings. Now I have a
lot to do on Saturday. The move is Sunday. Moving blows, but I am
looking forward to the new place, because it is forcing me to get rid
of some stuff. Also, my commute will go from 30 to 10 minutes.
Pretty sweet.
One of my friends said he is going to buy a particular painting of
mine with his next paycheck. It's currently hanging at Adorn Salon
& Boutique. That would be nice. He had admired it the night of my
reception but didn't have the money. I could use the extra bucks,
so that would rock. I keep hoping a slot will open up at Woolworth
Walk. The exposure would be great.
Enough for now. Have a great Thursday.
Peace,
celeste
__________________________________________________
November 18, 2008
Happy Tuesday! I had a great day yesterday. I sold another
painting at Urban Burrito. That place has turned out to be a lucky
one for selling my smaller paintings.
I was sitting in the office at work and I heard a raspy voice say
"Hello?" We were closed yesterday so the place was empty. It was
Jonas Gerard. He is hanging another painting in the restaurant and
came over to look over the space. He told me he wanted me to
send him some pictures of my work. I told him I'd rather show him
in person, since my pictures don't turn out very well. We started
talking, and he asked me the largest size canvas I've painted. I told
him it was 30 x 36, but only for financial reasons - that's I'd love to
do a larger one. The next thing I know, we are headed to a local
art store (one that I didn't even know existed) and he is buying me
canvases! I was in shock with gratitude. He bought me 5 canvases,
one is 40 x 48! Then we went to his studio and he gave me three
more. THEN, he gave me 40 8 oz. jars of the paint he uses (that I
can not afford)!!!! I am still in shock. He said I am like his
daughter. I feel like God himself was behind this miracle. I have
wanted to use Golden paints for so long but could never afford
them. It was a "maybe someday" kind of thing. I couldn't help but
ask aloud if my Dad was somehow behind this. :) I'd like to think
so. Thank you, Jonas! He's not just my hero, he's also my friend
(not to mention Santa Claus!).
Peace,
celeste
__________________________________________________
November 11, 2008
Happy Veteran's Day. A big salute to our troops, past and present.
Whether I agree with the war or not, I honor the people who put
their lives on the line for our country. Speaking of which, my Dad's
interment will be held on Dec 29 at Arlington Cemetery. 21-gun
salute, bugles and all. What an honor. We are taking a limo to the
cemetery, naturally. I am sure it will choke me up but in a good
way. We decided to ask for donations to be sent to the library in
Warrenton. It was his second home before his stroke. He probably
read every book in the place. :) The American Heart Association is
our back up charity.
My only wish is that my sister Denise will contact the family. She
hated my Dad because of how he was during her childhood. I
learned the hard way that carrying around hatred and resentment
is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die. It just
slowly kills your spirit. She hasn't talked to the family since 2004.
While I have missed her terribly, my Mom has felt the impact the
most. They used to "talk" (at least on email) daily. If you're out
there, Denise, please contact Mom. She needs you now.
I hope everyone has a great day.
Peace,
celeste
__________________________________________________
November 10, 2008
Yesterday was great. Jonas did three paintings.
For more pics, go to this page.
We also stopped by the studio of Shelley Pereda, who does fantastic
charcoals and mixed media paintings. It was a fun day.
Well, I'd better try to get back to sleep. I have a lot to do today - no
time for insomnia!
ROLL TIDE!
Peace,
celeste
__________________________________________________
November 9, 2008
I am excited today because my beloved Jonas Gerard is doing a live
painting performance at 2:00. I will be taking my camera, of
course. I can't wait! His art is still hanging in the restaurant. I
always walk around and touch them during the day. It lifts my
spirits and makes me feel blessed. We are also going to the studio
of the daughter of David Pereda, the author and teacher of our
fiction class who bought my "Introvert" painting. She does abstract
painting. I wish 2:00 would get here! I guess I will do some packing
in the meantime. We will probably go early to get a seat. The
studio is always packed when Jonas paints.
Have a great Sunday!
Peace,
celeste
__________________________________________________
November 8, 2008
Well, it's official. We found our new home and are moving in within
the next three weeks. It's a much smaller house, so I will have to
get rid of some things. My office will be smaller (D gets the larger
office this time.) :)
It will be good to get rid of stuff I don't need. One thing I need to
get rid of is my collection of CDs. I've already downloaded them to
my IPod. There are about 700 of them. I am going to try to sell
them on craigslist. Less than $1 a CD. I'd probably make more
money listing them individually on Ebay, but what a pain that would
be. I am going to try to sell them on craigslist first. Then I have an
"Old School" BMX bike that I bought years ago because I was going
to use it for parts to fix up another bike that I had wanted as a kid
but my Dad wouldn't buy for me because it was expensive. The
funny thing was, instead of getting that $300 bike in 1977, I got a
Huffy but over time got him to agree to replacing everything but the
frame and mag wheels. So, in the end he paid a lot more than
$300. Oh, Dad. Silly Rabbit. I am also going to sell my bass. I have
had it since 2003 and it just sits there depreciating. If I ever get the
urge again, I will buy a cheap Fender. I spent $1500 on the one I
have. It's beautiful. Anyway...
I have almost fully recovered from my nose surgery. I don't think I
have mentioned it before. I went to the nose doctor because I was
hooked on Afrin (is that stupid, or what?) and found out I had a
partially deviated septum. It was shaped like an "S." He said it was
probably from an old injury. I think it happened when I was playing
goalie back in 2006. Or during some clutsy move. I am constantly
banging myself up and getting little cuts. The recovery was much
worse than I thought. Thank God for Percocet! Not being able to
breathe through your nose is really annoying. It still hurts a little,
but I am off the Afrin and should be breathing more like a normal
person soon.
I am wearing my Dad's ring from his undergraduate college. He had
to have it cut off because it got too tight. So, I used pliers to bend it
together to fit my index finger. I should have left it up to a jeweler
because I bent it a little off-center. When I have extra money again
I am going to take it to a jeweler and have them fit it for me. It's a
nice way of carrying him with me throughout the day.
I had posted some great pics of my Dad on my Family page, if you
want to check them out.
O.k., enough blathering for the moment. Hope you have a great
weekend!
Peace,
celeste
__________________________________________________
November 6, 2008
I realized that what a wrote yesterday about my Dad was a bit of a
downer. My sister sent out the following note to her friends. Other
than leaving out that he was a talented artist, she really captured
the spirit of who he was:
"Dear friends,
While Tues, Nov 4 was an exciting day for America and one that my
Mom enjoyed immensely as she spent the day working the polls for
our incredible election, it was a sad one for my family; as my Dad,
John Heery died. He fought a remarkable battle these past 18.5
years with my Mom courageously by his side as his advocate and
caregiver. This past month we saw a rapid decline, and his last
weekend was a rough one for him. We knew his time with us was
limited and he would not return home from the hospital and nursing
home, but we were not prepared for his sudden passing. His
passing will finally bring him some peace.
Prior to his first, permanently damaging stroke in March 1990, my
Dad was an avid reader, and a remarkable communicator.. He had
the most wonderful way with the written word; writing poems,
haiku, and short stories throughout his life. He was a first-
generation American from an Irish family who settled in the Bronx.
A WWII vet, he used the GI bill to enable him to be the only one in
his family to go to college. He earned his master's degree in English
from NYU, and his undergraduate psychology degree from Hunter
College. Being an avid reader, he was self-taught on many
incredible subjects. He had a long career in the space industry and
retired from IBM one year prior to his first of many strokes.
Many of you have been so supportive over the years, and I thank
you for being my friend. Also, thank you for keeping my Mom and
my family in your thoughts and prayers. My Mom has been so
strong for so many years, I know if it had not been for her, my Dad
would not have been here for so many years (he celebrated his
83rd birthday on Oct 12) or had the quality of life he had since his
first stroke. She was with him and there for him every step of the
way. I hope she will find the strength to carry on alone after 56
years of marriage.
The interment will be held on Dec 29 at Arlington Cemetery. In lieu
of flowers and fruit baskets, a tax-deductible contribution
remembrance can be in the name of John P. Heery, to:
Fauquier County Public Library (Warrenton Branch)
Att: Linda Yowell
11 Winchester St
Warrenton VA 20186
OR the American Heart Association
Acknowledgements sent to:
Vanessa L Herman
8917 Magnolia Ridge Road
Fairfax Station VA 22039
Vanessa"
This is a painting he did which I treasure. My Mom told him not to fill
in the faces so he left them blank. I thought the end result was cool.
Thanks to everyone who sent their condolences. It really helps.
Peace,
celeste
__________________________________________________
November 5, 2008
I am writing today with mixed emotions. First, I am happy - very
happy - that Obama won and am filled with hope. Today is a sad
day, however, because my Dad died yesterday. He has struggled
since his major stroke in 1990. In a way, he died back then. He was
never the same since that stroke, and he couldn't communicate or
understand very well. His condition deteriorated over the years. In
a way, I feel like I never knew him. Two years prior to his stroke he
was an active alcoholic and the two years he was dry before his
stroke we didn't like each other. So, part of me feels sorry for
myself because of this. I know if he hadn't had that stroke that we
would have become good friends. We are very much alike in many
ways. The good and the bad. My Mom always says so. I am mostly
sad for my Mom. While he wasn't much of a partner, he was a live
person and that brought her some peace. They were married over
50 years. I pray that God will bring her comfort through this difficult
time, and I am grateful that he no longer has to suffer. I love you,
Dad.
John Patrick Heery
1925 - 2008
__________________________________________________
October 27, 2008
I am excited to report that I have sold three paintings this week for
my highest asking price yet (two of them, anyway)! What a
blessing, especially now when we really need the money. The ones
which sold are Introvert, Coffee (the large version), and
Unnoticed. I will leave them in the gallery, at least for now. I
haven't removed the ones that sold or that I have replaced in a
while.
I am feeling better. I still have the cold, but it has abated a bit. I
had a lot to do today, and have accomplished most of it. Back to
work tomorrow.
Hope you had a happy Monday!
celeste
__________________________________________________
October 26, 2008
As you can see, I have cleared away my blog from the last few
months. If you want to catch up, go to my blog archive page.
We just got back from another trip to Northern Virginia/Maryland.
The second trip in two months. This time I was taking care of a
friend and her son while she recovered from surgery and hubby
was at work. Delores visited with family in Maryland. It's good to
be home. I have missed painting. I have a gnarly head cold but am
fighting it with all my power. It's manageable. Everything is
manageable, if you manage it right. How redundant that sounds,
but it's true. Sounds like something Yogi Berra would say. I have
some challenges in front of me financially, but I prefer to live in faith
rather than fear. Just like that church sign that hasn't been
changed since we moved here:
God has always somehow taken care of me when I most needed it,
as long as I was willing to do the footwork. I am willing. Time
management will be of paramount importance to me in the
upcoming weeks since I have a job to show up to but still need to
find time to make phone calls, run errands, and find time for myself.
The same challenges most everyone has, but now I don't have the
"luxury" of doing things when I feel like doing them. I am learning
to push through. That has never been easy for me since the
depression started and my immune system got weakened (I catch
everything that goes around, it seems), but I am capable of being
stronger than I have been and I just need to remind myself of that.
We need to move. We can't afford, due to recent circumstances, to
live where we are. $400 power bills in the Winter for a house that
has a lot of rooms and an inefficient (to say the least) heating
system just won't cut it. We have more space than we need
anyway, and I want to be closer to my job. So, goodbye to the
mountain and hello to the next chapter of our life. I am not looking
forward to packing, but I am excited about the possibility of living in
Asheville and a nice cozy - but roomy enough - space. Both D and I
need our separate offices and I need space to paint. If I HAVE to, I
can convert a dining room into a small studio. I will just have to
cover the walls, ceiling, and floor with tarp so I don't get paint
everywhere.
Jonas Gerard posted my testimonial on his web site (at the end).
He wrote back:
"Celeste,
That was way beyond what I expected.
Your are indeed very receptive to what's really going on here. Your
experience is one the very reason why I paint [sic]. Payment for
the sale of a painting is a blessing but this is a lot more fulfilling.
Many get it to some extent but you really got it on a very deep level.
Thank you for taking the time to write.
It's too long for a quote on the web site but I will condense it
and/or take sections and make up a quote. [He actually included
the whole thing]. I'll send it to you. You're so sweet.
Your friend,
Jonas"
I have a poem that is in process that I want to send to him too.
I am wordy today. I have a lot on my mind, I guess, and decided to
vomit some of it on you. Hope it wasn't too boring. :)
I hope this rambling finds you well.
Peace,
celeste
December 31, 2008
Happy New Year's Eve! We have big plans tonight, meaning we
hope to be awake to watch the ball drop! We prefer to stay home
and chill on "amateur night." I've had plenty of wild New Year's
Eves - enough to last a lifetime. I'd prefer to be at home, safe and
warm. Last year I got a little choked up watching Dick Clark
because of seeing the effects of his stroke - it made me think of my
Dad. Little did I know it would be the last New Year's Eve that my
Dad would be alive...
We had his ceremony at Arlington on Monday. It was a very moving
and honorable service. Since he was cremated, he has a niche
which will be engraved on the outside, indicating he was in the Air
Force. Since his niche is located on the upper level, I got to be the
one to place his ashes in the niche. [My Mom would have broken
her neck.] I was very happy that I was able to do that. I had a
crying jag when we got home from dinner. It felt good to get it all
out. I am happy that he is no longer suffering, but I mourn the man
I felt I never got the chance to know.
My Aunt Rose came down from Massachusetts to attend the
ceremony. She is 85 years old but has the energy of a 25 year old.
She imparted some wisdom on me: to live my life and don't let the
depression own me. She put it in a much more eloquent and wise
way but her message got through. While the fact remains that I am
struggling right now, I need to push as hard as I can against the
forces that try to keep me down.
I lost my job at the restaurant. While the owner does care about
me and like me as a person, I just wasn't cutting it as far as the
amount of time I was able to work or the energy I was able to put
into the job. Well, it just proves that I need my Social Security. The
decision should be coming any day on my appeal. I hope it comes
through. I am not sure how we are going to pull through if it
doesn't.
At the eve of the new year, I am deciding to be hopeful. Things
have to get better. There has got to be the right medication out
there for me. I want off this roller coaster. I am sick and tired of
these cycles. I just want to start out on a level playing field. I don't
need to feel good as much as I don't want to feel bad. It makes me
angry because it is all chemical. I have no reason to be down. I
have a good life.
I guess that's enough of my soul searching for now. Happy New
Year to you and yours.
celeste
__________________________________________________
December 17, 2008
Happy Birthday, Mom! I dedicate my latest painting to you:
We Can Stop the Madness
18 x 36
I have been having a wicked battle with insomnia for the past well,
years, but lately for the past couple of weeks. Waking up too early,
waking up in the middle of the night. I have run out of Vampires to
attack on Facebook! Pitiful. Too tired to do anything but 'net. It's
frustrating. Thank God I see the doctor tomorrow. I take enough
sleep meds. to kill a horse, but apparently not enough. Or I have
developed a tolerance to them. Whatever the reason, it makes me
feel different than the rest of the world, and I don't need more
reasons to feel that way! :)
O.k. Enough whining. There are people with much worse things to
deal with than insomnia. Great song by Faithless, by the way, if you
haven't heard of them. They're my favorite band.
Did you send out Christmas cards? We did. It wasn't as bad as hot
pokers in the eyes, as I expected. My handwriting is abysmal, so
hopefully they will all make it to their destinations.
We are heading to VA for Christmas to visit with my family and
attend my Dad's interment at Arlington Cemetery. Not exactly
something to look forward to, but in a way I am. I didn't get to say
goodbye, so this is my opportunity to do so. And what an honor for
him.
I told Jonas that I set up my art space and he sent a cool message
back:
"Ok, Nice space.
Now you go to work. Pour your heart out.
Remember it's not the results but the purity of the process that
counts.
Let that fearless energy come out.
Every painting is a self portrait: your intention, how you go about it,
is there judgment. are you willing to make a fool of yourself, are you
a perfectionist, are you afraid of negative response. who are you
trying to please, is there a deep meaning behind it all. The answers
define who you are and the painting reflect you from inside out and
outside in.
Enjoy the process
Love
Jonas"
Very true. I need to focus on the process. I am going to continue to
make paintings I like as well as ones that I don't, but that's not the
reason I paint and I need to remember that. I seem to do best
when I stick to no more than 4 colors. Otherwise, I tend to get
mud. I have a lot to learn.
Well, enough for now. I hope YOU are getting some good sleep.
Peace,
celeste
__________________________________________________
December 14, 2008
So, I am back in the saddle again. I painted my first painting in
months - and the first at the new house - yesterday. I am
dedicating it to my Dad:
I swear I felt his presence with me as a painted. I used the new
paints I got from Jonas - WOW, what a difference. They are the
perfect balance between the fast-drying acrylics I was using and
oils. You can play with the paints for a while, but you know that by
the next day that the painting will be dry.
I listened to the Dido album and was frankly disappointed. After
turning out No Angel and Life for Rent, I had pretty high
expectations. I'd give it a C+.
We are going to see Four Christmases today. Should be fun,
mindless holiday entertainment.
Peace,
celeste
__________________________________________________
December 13, 2008
Well, since I was up at 3:00 a.m. this morning, I had no excuse but
to get moving on my studio. It took about 2 & 1/2 hours, but it is
now finally set up.
Not bad considering it's just a half-garage. The left is all storage
shelves, and I managed to fill them all. The latest painting I did is
hanging up. I think I did it two months ago. It's called Sweet
Indulgence:
I am getting ready to go out and try to get something going again.
It's hard to get back in the groove. But there I go already
expecting to have a hard time. Back up. I am going to put on Dido's
new album, which I didn't know existed until today when I was
returning an old item at Best Buy (I have to steer clear of Best Buy
for now - $$). So, I can't wait to hear it as well as Pink's new
album. I also need to do something with this weird energy I am
getting from one of the new meds. It's uncomfortable. I just hope
I can adjust to it. It should help with the depression.
We still have unpacking to do, but we have our "infrastructure" set
up so it's doable for now. We will unpack this week at a relaxed
pace. That's what we call "mellow procrastination", my friends.
Hope you are having a great weekend,
celeste
__________________________________________________
December 11, 2008
Well, Bama lost to Florida but will be playing Utah in the Sugar Bowl.
I hope Oklahoma annihilates Florida in their game. Stupid Florida!
My new meds. are helping a lot. Thank God. And I went to part-
time at work so that is helping immensely. I am just not the person
I used to be, and it's a small office and I feel claustrophobic in there
so staying put for 8 hours was slowly driving me mad. Working 4
hours is great. I am more productive and don't feel the day drags
on. I have a wonderful God.
I should be able to set up the studio today after work. I can't wait.
My dear friend Whipple sent me a Michael's gift card so I have some
new brushes to try out.
I, like many others, am addicted to Facebook. How many freakin'
hugs and good karma can a person send out? The answer: an
indefinite amount. :) If you aren't on, you should join. It's a great
way to see what your friends are up to without having to actually be
in contact. That sounds bad, but you know what I mean.
We still have some unpacking to do, but have made decent
progress. I have set up our Christmas tree, hung some paintings,
and got all of my Day of the Dead collection up. I am fortunate to
have a g/f who doesn't think it's weird, because she knows what
it's all about. So, my marvelous collection is on prominent display.
I am grateful to report that several donations have been made to
the Warrenton library in my Dad's honor. I am sure he is pleased.
My Mom is happy about it, and is sending personal thank you notes.
Happy Thursday!
celeste
__________________________________________________
December 6, 2008
Well, got my new meds. finally. I am hopeful that they will help me
and am glad to get off one of the meds. I was taking due to the side
effects. Unfortunately, one of the meds. is giving me some nausea,
so I had to leave work a little early yesterday. I crashed and felt
better, so I went to Jonas' Asheville Area Arts Council gallery
opening where he was honored with being named Artist of the
Year.
I just adore him. He threatened (jokingly) to take the paints back
that he gave me if I didn't start painting. So, this weekend D and I
are going to get unpacked and get the studio partially ready. We
are going to have a friend put up some shelves in the garage since
we have so much less storage space. I want this studio to be neat
and organized, unlike our last one.
Bama plays Florida today at 4:00 EST. It will be a good game. ROLL
TIDE!
Have a great Saturday and weekend,
celeste
__________________________________________________
December 2, 2008
Well, we survived the move. Barely. I had a tough time with it. I
was totally stressed out. Moving blows. Add to that the fact that
we moved to a much smaller house, I had a lot to get rid of. There's
still some stuff left at the old house, and my landlord had to help out
with the cleaning so he could show the house and it not be a mess.
We had to go out of town for Thanksgiving and I have to work so
the timing was off. We'll get it all worked out, it will just take some
creativity. We just have to remember to take one room at a time,
and not get overwhelmed by the big picture. We need to get some
shelves put up in the garage because we have 1/2 the storage
space. I can't wait to get the house set up and then my studio. It's
been months since I painted. That's a big void for me.
Thanksgiving was really nice. We went to Myrtle Beach to visit D's
Mom and Dad. It was very relaxing and nice to get away from all
the packed boxes everywhere. I was in a funk part of the time, so
that sucked. Time to adjust the meds. AGAIN. Call me a guinea pig.
One day they will get the right combination. Of course, I was very
excited that Alabama's football team retained their perfect season
and beat the crap out of their arch-rival, Auburn! Next week's
game against Florida will be a tough one, but for now I will revel in
their #1 ranking!
My beloved Jonas Gerard has been selected as Artist of the Year by
the Asheville Area Arts Council. There is a reception Friday night
that I plan to attend to show my support. I am very excited for him.
Have a great Tuesday.
Peace,
celeste
__________________________________________________
November 20, 2008
I woke up to the most marvelous email in my in box. It was from
Jonas. I had sent him a thank you card (I am one of those geeks
with card-making software - I rarely buy a card) with an image of
one of my paintings on it:
[It's called Falling Backwards and is one of my favorites.] He wrote
to me:
"Dear Celeste,
Got your sweet card.
It's a pleasure to be of service.
The image on the card is the first time I have seen your painting and
when I opened the envelope my first reaction was WOW.
I want to see more.
Don't delay.
Paint, paint and then……. paint some more
Jonas"
To say I am thrilled is an understatement. What a wonderful way to
start the day!
I am not going to do any packing this morning, even though I am up
early. I have to package up a bike to ship (viva la Ebay). I got a
bike box, but I am going to have to disassemble some of it and I just
hope I have the right tools.
Work has gotten busy, which is good, because it makes the day go
by faster. The problem is that when I come home, I literally get in
bed. I am not worth a damn after 5:00, and I hate that, because I
could have been doing some packing in the evenings. Now I have a
lot to do on Saturday. The move is Sunday. Moving blows, but I am
looking forward to the new place, because it is forcing me to get rid
of some stuff. Also, my commute will go from 30 to 10 minutes.
Pretty sweet.
One of my friends said he is going to buy a particular painting of
mine with his next paycheck. It's currently hanging at Adorn Salon
& Boutique. That would be nice. He had admired it the night of my
reception but didn't have the money. I could use the extra bucks,
so that would rock. I keep hoping a slot will open up at Woolworth
Walk. The exposure would be great.
Enough for now. Have a great Thursday.
Peace,
celeste
__________________________________________________
November 18, 2008
Happy Tuesday! I had a great day yesterday. I sold another
painting at Urban Burrito. That place has turned out to be a lucky
one for selling my smaller paintings.
I was sitting in the office at work and I heard a raspy voice say
"Hello?" We were closed yesterday so the place was empty. It was
Jonas Gerard. He is hanging another painting in the restaurant and
came over to look over the space. He told me he wanted me to
send him some pictures of my work. I told him I'd rather show him
in person, since my pictures don't turn out very well. We started
talking, and he asked me the largest size canvas I've painted. I told
him it was 30 x 36, but only for financial reasons - that's I'd love to
do a larger one. The next thing I know, we are headed to a local
art store (one that I didn't even know existed) and he is buying me
canvases! I was in shock with gratitude. He bought me 5 canvases,
one is 40 x 48! Then we went to his studio and he gave me three
more. THEN, he gave me 40 8 oz. jars of the paint he uses (that I
can not afford)!!!! I am still in shock. He said I am like his
daughter. I feel like God himself was behind this miracle. I have
wanted to use Golden paints for so long but could never afford
them. It was a "maybe someday" kind of thing. I couldn't help but
ask aloud if my Dad was somehow behind this. :) I'd like to think
so. Thank you, Jonas! He's not just my hero, he's also my friend
(not to mention Santa Claus!).
Peace,
celeste
__________________________________________________
November 11, 2008
Happy Veteran's Day. A big salute to our troops, past and present.
Whether I agree with the war or not, I honor the people who put
their lives on the line for our country. Speaking of which, my Dad's
interment will be held on Dec 29 at Arlington Cemetery. 21-gun
salute, bugles and all. What an honor. We are taking a limo to the
cemetery, naturally. I am sure it will choke me up but in a good
way. We decided to ask for donations to be sent to the library in
Warrenton. It was his second home before his stroke. He probably
read every book in the place. :) The American Heart Association is
our back up charity.
My only wish is that my sister Denise will contact the family. She
hated my Dad because of how he was during her childhood. I
learned the hard way that carrying around hatred and resentment
is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die. It just
slowly kills your spirit. She hasn't talked to the family since 2004.
While I have missed her terribly, my Mom has felt the impact the
most. They used to "talk" (at least on email) daily. If you're out
there, Denise, please contact Mom. She needs you now.
I hope everyone has a great day.
Peace,
celeste
__________________________________________________
November 10, 2008
Yesterday was great. Jonas did three paintings.
For more pics, go to this page.
We also stopped by the studio of Shelley Pereda, who does fantastic
charcoals and mixed media paintings. It was a fun day.
Well, I'd better try to get back to sleep. I have a lot to do today - no
time for insomnia!
ROLL TIDE!
Peace,
celeste
__________________________________________________
November 9, 2008
I am excited today because my beloved Jonas Gerard is doing a live
painting performance at 2:00. I will be taking my camera, of
course. I can't wait! His art is still hanging in the restaurant. I
always walk around and touch them during the day. It lifts my
spirits and makes me feel blessed. We are also going to the studio
of the daughter of David Pereda, the author and teacher of our
fiction class who bought my "Introvert" painting. She does abstract
painting. I wish 2:00 would get here! I guess I will do some packing
in the meantime. We will probably go early to get a seat. The
studio is always packed when Jonas paints.
Have a great Sunday!
Peace,
celeste
__________________________________________________
November 8, 2008
Well, it's official. We found our new home and are moving in within
the next three weeks. It's a much smaller house, so I will have to
get rid of some things. My office will be smaller (D gets the larger
office this time.) :)
It will be good to get rid of stuff I don't need. One thing I need to
get rid of is my collection of CDs. I've already downloaded them to
my IPod. There are about 700 of them. I am going to try to sell
them on craigslist. Less than $1 a CD. I'd probably make more
money listing them individually on Ebay, but what a pain that would
be. I am going to try to sell them on craigslist first. Then I have an
"Old School" BMX bike that I bought years ago because I was going
to use it for parts to fix up another bike that I had wanted as a kid
but my Dad wouldn't buy for me because it was expensive. The
funny thing was, instead of getting that $300 bike in 1977, I got a
Huffy but over time got him to agree to replacing everything but the
frame and mag wheels. So, in the end he paid a lot more than
$300. Oh, Dad. Silly Rabbit. I am also going to sell my bass. I have
had it since 2003 and it just sits there depreciating. If I ever get the
urge again, I will buy a cheap Fender. I spent $1500 on the one I
have. It's beautiful. Anyway...
I have almost fully recovered from my nose surgery. I don't think I
have mentioned it before. I went to the nose doctor because I was
hooked on Afrin (is that stupid, or what?) and found out I had a
partially deviated septum. It was shaped like an "S." He said it was
probably from an old injury. I think it happened when I was playing
goalie back in 2006. Or during some clutsy move. I am constantly
banging myself up and getting little cuts. The recovery was much
worse than I thought. Thank God for Percocet! Not being able to
breathe through your nose is really annoying. It still hurts a little,
but I am off the Afrin and should be breathing more like a normal
person soon.
I am wearing my Dad's ring from his undergraduate college. He had
to have it cut off because it got too tight. So, I used pliers to bend it
together to fit my index finger. I should have left it up to a jeweler
because I bent it a little off-center. When I have extra money again
I am going to take it to a jeweler and have them fit it for me. It's a
nice way of carrying him with me throughout the day.
I had posted some great pics of my Dad on my Family page, if you
want to check them out.
O.k., enough blathering for the moment. Hope you have a great
weekend!
Peace,
celeste
__________________________________________________
November 6, 2008
I realized that what a wrote yesterday about my Dad was a bit of a
downer. My sister sent out the following note to her friends. Other
than leaving out that he was a talented artist, she really captured
the spirit of who he was:
"Dear friends,
While Tues, Nov 4 was an exciting day for America and one that my
Mom enjoyed immensely as she spent the day working the polls for
our incredible election, it was a sad one for my family; as my Dad,
John Heery died. He fought a remarkable battle these past 18.5
years with my Mom courageously by his side as his advocate and
caregiver. This past month we saw a rapid decline, and his last
weekend was a rough one for him. We knew his time with us was
limited and he would not return home from the hospital and nursing
home, but we were not prepared for his sudden passing. His
passing will finally bring him some peace.
Prior to his first, permanently damaging stroke in March 1990, my
Dad was an avid reader, and a remarkable communicator.. He had
the most wonderful way with the written word; writing poems,
haiku, and short stories throughout his life. He was a first-
generation American from an Irish family who settled in the Bronx.
A WWII vet, he used the GI bill to enable him to be the only one in
his family to go to college. He earned his master's degree in English
from NYU, and his undergraduate psychology degree from Hunter
College. Being an avid reader, he was self-taught on many
incredible subjects. He had a long career in the space industry and
retired from IBM one year prior to his first of many strokes.
Many of you have been so supportive over the years, and I thank
you for being my friend. Also, thank you for keeping my Mom and
my family in your thoughts and prayers. My Mom has been so
strong for so many years, I know if it had not been for her, my Dad
would not have been here for so many years (he celebrated his
83rd birthday on Oct 12) or had the quality of life he had since his
first stroke. She was with him and there for him every step of the
way. I hope she will find the strength to carry on alone after 56
years of marriage.
The interment will be held on Dec 29 at Arlington Cemetery. In lieu
of flowers and fruit baskets, a tax-deductible contribution
remembrance can be in the name of John P. Heery, to:
Fauquier County Public Library (Warrenton Branch)
Att: Linda Yowell
11 Winchester St
Warrenton VA 20186
OR the American Heart Association
Acknowledgements sent to:
Vanessa L Herman
8917 Magnolia Ridge Road
Fairfax Station VA 22039
Vanessa"
This is a painting he did which I treasure. My Mom told him not to fill
in the faces so he left them blank. I thought the end result was cool.
Thanks to everyone who sent their condolences. It really helps.
Peace,
celeste
__________________________________________________
November 5, 2008
I am writing today with mixed emotions. First, I am happy - very
happy - that Obama won and am filled with hope. Today is a sad
day, however, because my Dad died yesterday. He has struggled
since his major stroke in 1990. In a way, he died back then. He was
never the same since that stroke, and he couldn't communicate or
understand very well. His condition deteriorated over the years. In
a way, I feel like I never knew him. Two years prior to his stroke he
was an active alcoholic and the two years he was dry before his
stroke we didn't like each other. So, part of me feels sorry for
myself because of this. I know if he hadn't had that stroke that we
would have become good friends. We are very much alike in many
ways. The good and the bad. My Mom always says so. I am mostly
sad for my Mom. While he wasn't much of a partner, he was a live
person and that brought her some peace. They were married over
50 years. I pray that God will bring her comfort through this difficult
time, and I am grateful that he no longer has to suffer. I love you,
Dad.
John Patrick Heery
1925 - 2008
__________________________________________________
October 27, 2008
I am excited to report that I have sold three paintings this week for
my highest asking price yet (two of them, anyway)! What a
blessing, especially now when we really need the money. The ones
which sold are Introvert, Coffee (the large version), and
Unnoticed. I will leave them in the gallery, at least for now. I
haven't removed the ones that sold or that I have replaced in a
while.
I am feeling better. I still have the cold, but it has abated a bit. I
had a lot to do today, and have accomplished most of it. Back to
work tomorrow.
Hope you had a happy Monday!
celeste
__________________________________________________
October 26, 2008
As you can see, I have cleared away my blog from the last few
months. If you want to catch up, go to my blog archive page.
We just got back from another trip to Northern Virginia/Maryland.
The second trip in two months. This time I was taking care of a
friend and her son while she recovered from surgery and hubby
was at work. Delores visited with family in Maryland. It's good to
be home. I have missed painting. I have a gnarly head cold but am
fighting it with all my power. It's manageable. Everything is
manageable, if you manage it right. How redundant that sounds,
but it's true. Sounds like something Yogi Berra would say. I have
some challenges in front of me financially, but I prefer to live in faith
rather than fear. Just like that church sign that hasn't been
changed since we moved here:
God has always somehow taken care of me when I most needed it,
as long as I was willing to do the footwork. I am willing. Time
management will be of paramount importance to me in the
upcoming weeks since I have a job to show up to but still need to
find time to make phone calls, run errands, and find time for myself.
The same challenges most everyone has, but now I don't have the
"luxury" of doing things when I feel like doing them. I am learning
to push through. That has never been easy for me since the
depression started and my immune system got weakened (I catch
everything that goes around, it seems), but I am capable of being
stronger than I have been and I just need to remind myself of that.
We need to move. We can't afford, due to recent circumstances, to
live where we are. $400 power bills in the Winter for a house that
has a lot of rooms and an inefficient (to say the least) heating
system just won't cut it. We have more space than we need
anyway, and I want to be closer to my job. So, goodbye to the
mountain and hello to the next chapter of our life. I am not looking
forward to packing, but I am excited about the possibility of living in
Asheville and a nice cozy - but roomy enough - space. Both D and I
need our separate offices and I need space to paint. If I HAVE to, I
can convert a dining room into a small studio. I will just have to
cover the walls, ceiling, and floor with tarp so I don't get paint
everywhere.
Jonas Gerard posted my testimonial on his web site (at the end).
He wrote back:
"Celeste,
That was way beyond what I expected.
Your are indeed very receptive to what's really going on here. Your
experience is one the very reason why I paint [sic]. Payment for
the sale of a painting is a blessing but this is a lot more fulfilling.
Many get it to some extent but you really got it on a very deep level.
Thank you for taking the time to write.
It's too long for a quote on the web site but I will condense it
and/or take sections and make up a quote. [He actually included
the whole thing]. I'll send it to you. You're so sweet.
Your friend,
Jonas"
I have a poem that is in process that I want to send to him too.
I am wordy today. I have a lot on my mind, I guess, and decided to
vomit some of it on you. Hope it wasn't too boring. :)
I hope this rambling finds you well.
Peace,
celeste
