I've added an amusing church sign (end of page) as well as a large amount of photos of old barns, etc. I also added some items to the miscellaneous page. We went out to Weaverville yesterday to get some photos and it was a lot of fun.
I am meeting with the Jehovah's Witnesses today. I have been reading their publication "What Does the Bible Really Teach?" It is interesting. There are a couple of other publications they distribute that I would like to read (for example, "The Bible: God's Word or Man's?) I am starting to doubt that we have an immortal soul. Well, it depends on the day, really. My beliefs are in flux right now, but it's a good thing to have questions. It would make sense that our soul dies along with our body, since our mind no longer exists. On the flip side, it is also easy for me to believe that our spirit (which is different from the soul) does exist somehow and perhaps we are born into a different body. The JW's believe that those who are not chosen to be the 144,000 to rule in Heaven with Jesus (the 144,000 is documented in the Bible) will be resurrected on the Earth, living in paradise. Of course this will come after Armageddon. There is a lot to consider. I will continue my Christian Bible Study and also tap the JW's. They know the Bible inside and out, which I don't. Of course, their Bible is not necessarily congruent with the other Bibles, such as the King James. My Quest Bible is great as far as the sidebar notes, but it is way off when I get my daily "Purpose Driven Connection" emails so it is hard to follow. I need to get a new Bible, I am just not sure which one.
Sunday school was very interesting yesterday and I was fully engaged. We are reading Meeting Jesus for the First Time. The author has some interesting opinions that I do not agree with (I've only read Chapter 1, we have been assigned two more chapters for next week). You can read my brief synopsis, along with my questions, here. I plan to provide updates as I go along.
I feel compelled to write about this because it is a major issue in my life right now - in fact, it's the only complaint that I have (well, excluding the below). The rest of my life is very happy. I mentioned below about medication. I am taking an anti-depressant - Lamictal - that from what I have learned through extensive research, causes memory loss and an inability to spell and articulate well. I noticed problems with memory loss, struggling to find words to communicate, and spelling problems (I actually had to look up how to spell "predictable" the other day) ever since I started the medication. It has gotten worse. I have read several books over the last few months to try to transcend this issue. I use a highlighter, I write about it, yet when I go back - even to the things I have written - I have no recollection of the material. It makes me very frustrated and angry, and I don't know what to do about it. I don't feel sorry for myself, really, but I don't want to give up the second most fulfilling thing in my life (excluding my relationship) - expanding my knowledge - (painting and writing poetry come first - well, that's two things, but I lump them in together as creative endeavors) because of some damn medication. I am just writing about this because it is really affecting me.
I have a lot going on - exposure to atheists has caused me to struggle with my faith, something that bothers me to the point that I am talking to people about it: my sweetie, parents, my pastor, even Jehovah's Witnesses (and NO, I am not going to convert - they just know the Bible inside and out). This struggle causes me great discomfort and concern. I have not lost my faith, I just have a lot of questions about things that do not make sense to me. I do not take the Bible literally, and I never will. A lot of it is antiquated and written in historical context, not to mention the biases of the authors of the respective books. I will be writing about the issue of homosexuality and the Bible soon, so please keep checking back. It's an issue that needs to be addressed in the current cultural environment and is a cause of great contention in religious factions.
Since all I can seem to talk about is books, I may as well tell you the latest book I am reading. It's called Adventures in Philosophy. Pretty bold assertion, huh? Published in 2008, the book is intended to put philosophical questions in a contemporary context. That has got to be better than some of the boring "intellectual" crap I have been forcing myself through. I even have a degree in philosophy, and I can hardly stand reading Aristotle anymore. I think part of it is just that I don't pick things up as quickly as I used to. Partially age, partially meds. I am going to try to fix the latter. I am "only" 40 - my mind shouldn't be going downhill so quickly.
I still plan to go skydiving before my 41st birthday, before we leave Asheville. I'd rather crash in the mountains than crash in the sea. Sharks scare me. So does drowning. I think I will be scared, but I also think that once I step out of that plane, that I will be elated. I've heard of people being high for weeks afterwards. I would hate that. Yea, right. Knowing me I will want to sell my car so I can go again, and again...
I know it seems a little pretentious to have a logo for what amounts to a bunch of regular photos, but I do plan to add many more and I wanted them to be in one place. Besides, D is so good at designing logos I figured why not?
I am ready for some better weather. Winter blows. I can't wait to watch the sun rise over the ocean. That will be great. And I will be sure to post photos on this page.
I finished that boring book. It was painful. That's what I get for taking the advice of someone else. Now I am reading the books I picked out. One is Biology for Dummies. I realized I am pretty ignorant on the subject. Bad thing is, I won't retain it. Damn meds. They are making me stupid. What is the trade off? I would almost rather be depressed and smart. Well, not really.
It looks like it will be a May move. I was hoping for April. Oh well, it will still be in time for beach season. I plan to go early, but I do want to work on a tan. Not obsessively, but get one. I am pretty pale. I used to tan in a salon. How stupid is that?
This blog sounds like a twenty-something is writing it. Sorry if you are reading it and thinking about how boring it is! I will stop now.
Now I am reading a book called The History of Scepticism (yes, that spelling is annoying). It was recommended to me by someone who reads two books a day. I've never corresponded with a walking library before, so I thought that his recommendation would be a good thing to check out.
Other than that, just playing the waiting game for the move to Myrtle Beach. I haven't painted in months now, and I am not going to until we move, which will be in April or May. It will take some time to get back in the groove again. I hope I will be patient with myself.
I've added a discussion on Epicureanism (the philosophy of Epicurus) on my CJH Philosophical Discussions (link above) page. His main philosophy is to live simply and seek to maximize pleasure and minimize pain. He has some very interesting and practical ideas.
"As you give thought to your future—your future that may be 10 years; your future that may be 5 years; or your future that is 60 days away—you literally begin prepaving. And then, as you move into those pre-paved moments, and as that future becomes your present, you fine-tune it by saying, This, is what I now want. And all of those thoughts that you have put forth about your future, right down to this moment when you are now intending what action you want to take, will all fit together to bring you precisely that which you now want to live."